At least there’s a feeling. Something to work with.
There’s the craving for change, a nagging little sister tugging on the skirt of routine. A craving for simpler days, less exhaustion and wondering. There’s the craving for self compassion and surrender, and at last, a break from all that’s “too much”. And so I run; run blindly, run wildly, run in every direction, except I’ve forgotten I’m trying to run from myself.
There’s a feeling. Fear. Worry. Longing. Desire. Sadness. Let’s start there.
When I most want to sprint away from the weight of my thoughts, it’s stillness I need, not escape.
Be still. Face the tiger. Love what’s broken.
Then throw open the shades – furiously, or passionately, or desperately (all are born of the same fire) – and make a new go at things. Every day. Every day. Especially when it feels impossible.
And if dawn escapes you, light the fire of your best self, and go find her. Catch up to him. Then be reminded that they were there with you all along.
Still, the cravings will likely not stop, and thank god for that. At least there’s a feeling. Something to work with.